a dimension invaded by Love

I've been reading Donald Miller before bed (again--I've read all of his books at least 3 times) and last night, these words really made me look at things ever so slightly differently than the moment before.

"I was reading Brian Greene's book The Elegant Universe, in which the Columbia professor talks about potentials of the superstring theory...I was struck at one point when Greene indicated the possibility that multiple dimensions may be laid out against each other as slices of a loaf of bread or tissues in a great brain....I began to wonder how odd it would be if we existed in the mind of God....And, out of this other place, this other existence, Christ stepped to inhabit ours.
 If you believe Jesus was God, and He came to earth to walk among us, the first thing you start considering is that He might actually care.  Why else would something so great become something so small?  He didn't close Himself off in a neighborhood with the Trinity; He actually left His neighborhood and moved into ours, like a very wealthy and powerful man moving to the slums of Chicago or Houston or Calcutta, living in the streets as a peasant."


Miller goes on to list personality traits and characteristics he believes Jesus had/has..


1.  He believed all people were equal.  (He hung out with those society rejected most--THINK ABOUT THAT).  "The more unsavory the characters, the more at ease they seemed to feel around Jesus"...in Contrast, Jesus got a chilly response from more respectable types. Pious Pharisees thought him uncouth and worldly..."


2.  He was "ugly".  Yep.  "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.  He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.  Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised and we esteemed him not."  Isaiah 53:2-3 NIV  Pretty sure if Jesus came to America today, he would be ignored, rejected, and taken advantage of the way most people who don't have the "beautiful person" halo are in this extremely shallow, image obsessed society.  This makes me love him even more.  "One might believe that the unsightliness of Christ was a statement of humility, this this isn't true.  It would be inconsistent if Christ's looks were a statement of humility.  They were, rather, A STATEMENT OF TRUTH, and our seeing them as humility only suggests an OBVIOUS PREJUDICE."  Kind of beating a dead horse here, but be very careful in judging others based on their looks.  Speaking from experience, you may have to eat your words or thoughts when you lose your God-given looks (whether it's to aging, weight gain, or your own perspective,,) that you did nothing to earn.  And, it's not loving others well.


3.  He liked to be with people.  "He never sat down and wrote a mission statement.  Instead, He accumulated friends and allowed them to write about Him, talk a bout Him, testify about Him.  Each of the Gospels reveals a Christ who ate with people, attended parties, drank with people, prayed with people, traveled with people, and worked with people.  I can't imagine He would do this unless He actually like people and cared about them.  Jesus built our faith system entirely on relationships, forgoing marketing efforts and spin.  Not only that, but one of the criticisms of Christ was that He was a friend of pagans.  Not that He hung out with pagans, BUT THAT HE WAS THEIR FRIEND."  


4.  He had no fear of intimacy.  ....this is something I love about Him and hope I can learn from Him.  Intimacy scares the hell out of me.  There is such potential for being hurt and taken advantage of..


5.  He was patient.  He was always around crowds of people who misunderstood his motives, left Him alone when they said they wouldn't, and asked Him countless questions and favors.  The only time He lost His temper was in anger toward self righteous, pious pharisees.


6.  HE WAS KIND.    enough said :)


just thoughts from someone who has had their fill lately of Christian culture, American culture, and well, the thoughts in their own head.  It's all part of the journey.  I just want to be freed from small minds, boxed in formulas, and this self loathing that stops me from loving others the way they need to be loved.  Jesus, help me.

I know why the sky is crying when there aren't any words to say

I have so many mixed feelings about this part of life right now.
We are planning another trip this summer and although I have moments of blissful excitement, I still feel stuck in this bout of cynicism I've been in since last summer's trip.  I don't know how obvious it's been that I've been struggling with my faith this last year, but I've been struggling pretty badly.  It has many consequences; some affecting others' lives (and that breaks my heart) and some just being the typical self destructive moves people experiencing cynicism and lack of purpose do.  In times like these (that last much longer than we'd like...), I guess I'm thankful for 1) the thread of hope holding things together and 2) friends who see past the hurtful words, the pushing away, the walls, and the varying levels of self destruction.  We are made for community and as a self proclaimed loner, I'm slowly learning that I need people so much and that they actually need me.  That's just one reason to reach out to God in times of selfish pity because when I'm focusing on myself, I can't be there for others very well at all.
All that being said, I do feel led to once again return to Ukraine this summer.  The trip will look very different than others.  And, I won't see many of the kids I've bonded with in summers past.  This is very difficult for me; much more so than I can even verbally communicate.  These kids/young adults have my heart and I see their faces daily.  Trusting that God is sovereign is especially challenging during times of cynicism and this sort of situation shows me where I am with it all.  Sigh.  So glad it's not up to me, my beliefs, or even how well I'm equipped.  Showing love to people who need it has always been hard for me because I live in this stupid bubble of not feeling loved...but, these kids break all of that down.  BAM.  I see them, I interact with them, I hang out with them, and I just inexplicably love them supernaturally.  They need it.  Bad.
I am fundraising again.  If any of you are interested in giving, please pray about it, think about it, meditate, do whatever you want...but the trip costs a bundle and I don't have that.  If I don't get support, I can't go.  I've said it before and I'll say it again; this part of the trip is always something that grows my faith.  I have no choice but to trust that people will be moved to give and when they do, well, it's mind-blowingly awesome.  Email me, message me, let me know if you want to give to our team!  And, if you can't or don't want to, please keep this mission in your thoughts and prayers.  We are dependent on so much support to love on these kids!  Thanks:)  Love y'all!